Hi Iβm Joscelyn, a recovering codependent, people-pleaser, and perfectionist turned Master Mindfulness Practitioner, Trauma-Informed Yoga Instructor, and Certified Ritual Guide. I help people let go of toxic habits, situations, and relationships. Check out past editions and sign up below.
Ever felt "too hot to handle"?
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Expressing your thoughts and feelings will feel like a burden if you're overly concerned with how it makes someone else feel. PERSPECTIVE SHIFTSWhen you're made to feel like you're too hot to handle, you're more likely to withhold your true thoughts and feelings. People often use a tactic I call The Hot Potato Game to make someone else feel like they're "too much" to avoid rejection or to not deal with feelings. If you've been made to feel like you're being too serious or you can't take a joke you may be caught in the hot potato game. When someone uses this tactic, it's sometimes an attempt to avoid rejection, other times it's about avoiding feelings. The person using this game is not able to process a perceived rejection or reconcile uncomfortable feelings well so they shift their discomfort to the person who set the boundary. REFLECT: If you suspect someone engaging in The Hot Potato Game, identify this behavior. Dialogue with yourself that this behavior is not a reflection of you but is a projection of their discomfort. BEHAVIOR SHIFTSOnce you've recognized, identified, and dialogued with yourself about The Hot Potato Game. Consider bringing it to the attention of others. Talk about this dynamic and see if others are able to understand and agree on the concept. If you feel that this could help you create closer connections in your relationships, make an agreement with your partner or friend to call out this behavior when it's taking place. TRY: The next time someone begins to make you feel like too much, too aggressive, too sensitive, etc. for setting a boundary or holding a standard, try, "Don't play the hot potato game with me. Your discomfort is not my fault." THIS WEEK FROM TMLFeeling like you're too much and it's affecting your self-worth? Check out these articles ππ»
β¨NEW EPISODEβ¨ Check out this week's episode of The Pursuit of You podcast where we dive into what it means to be made to feel "too hot to handle."
Thank you so much for being here. I hope this was helpful for you and I'd love to hear your feedback! Let me know how this perspective or behavior shift helps you. And don't forget to check out TML's Favorites to find all the latest on my book reviews and product recommendations to bring you more peace of mind. π«Άπ» You're amazing, don't forget it. β In warmth & growth, β p.s. Check out TML's Yoga section for more on Oracle Card Readings, Yoga in-person and via zoom, guided meditations and more. |
Helping You Cultivate Healthy Self-Focus
Hi Iβm Joscelyn, a recovering codependent, people-pleaser, and perfectionist turned Master Mindfulness Practitioner, Trauma-Informed Yoga Instructor, and Certified Ritual Guide. I help people let go of toxic habits, situations, and relationships. Check out past editions and sign up below.
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